Cidlarpbad Gebzenhimdoss is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, tranquil scorpion.

Cidlarpbad Gebzenhimdoss created water five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cidlarpbad Gebzenhimdoss, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Cidlarpbad Gebzenhimdoss, she will turn you into a sheep.

Cidlarpbad Gebzenhimdoss' most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Cidlarpbad Gebzenhimdoss' Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dark energy near manatees while wearing green trousers.

2. You must love Cidlarpbad Gebzenhimdoss.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Always help sick eagles.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Cidlarpbad Gebzenhimdoss.