Wiktoftag is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, pitiless mole.

Wiktoftag created water five million years ago.

If you believe in Wiktoftag, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Wiktoftag, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Wiktoftag's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Wiktoftag's Holy Commandments

1. Always help porpoises.

2. Run away if eight hamsters approach from the west.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.

5. Hide if five sheep approach from the east.