Fitmegboss Gigbessgom is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, competent capybara.

Fitmegboss Gigbessgom created Africa twelve years ago.

If you believe in Fitmegboss Gigbessgom, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Fitmegboss Gigbessgom, it will turn you into a goat.

Fitmegboss Gigbessgom's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Fitmegboss Gigbessgom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear carbon on your body.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. You must pray to Fitmegboss Gigbessgom four times a day.

4. Do not dye your hair turquoise.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.