Vigfonbus is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, clever yak.

Vigfonbus created time and space eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vigfonbus, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Vigfonbus, she will turn you into a duck.

Vigfonbus' most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Vigfonbus' Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in cyan rooms.

2. Run away from orange doves, for they are unholy.

3. Never feed lots of onions to gulls while wearing mauve shorts.

4. Do not speak about spinach.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.