Haslunlak is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, unjust manatee.

Haslunlak created the Large Magellanic Cloud twelve years ago.

If you believe in Haslunlak, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Haslunlak, she will boil you in a big pot.

Haslunlak's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Haslunlak's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Haslunlak.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Never feed corn to horses while wearing blue rings.

4. Never talk about black holes.

5. Never paint your legs orange.