Satnellsog is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, temperamental monkey.

Satnellsog created the Sun three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Satnellsog, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Satnellsog, he will turn you into a worm.

Satnellsog's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Satnellsog's Holy Commandments

1. Always help horses.

2. Never talk about quantum mechanics near tortoises while wearing indigo corsets.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate seals.

4. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Hide from red porpoises for they are unholy.