Dibratnad is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, merciful salamander.

Dibratnad created the planet Venus two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dibratnad, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Dibratnad, he will turn you into a rat.

Dibratnad's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Dibratnad's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry monkeys.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Dibratnad.

3. Never talk about dark matter near voles while wearing orange hats.

4. Learn six new languages a year.

5. Never think about quantum gravity near goats while wearing green tights and balancing eight titanium spheres on your arms.