Tikhubril is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, almighty jackal.

Tikhubril created snails nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tikhubril, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Tikhubril, he will refuse to believe in you.

Tikhubril's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Tikhubril's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Hide from orange monkeys for they are unholy.

3. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Never play with disobedient children.