Mabhanbaf is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, unthoughtful snail.

Mabhanbaf created the cosmos seven million years ago.

If you believe in Mabhanbaf, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Mabhanbaf, it will turn you into a mouse.

Mabhanbaf's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Mabhanbaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill ducks.

2. Never think about nebulae.

3. Always make sure there are no tortoises in a room before entering it.

4. Retreat if six birds approach from the south.

5. Do not commit murder.