Pitwegsaf is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, stupid raven.

Pitwegsaf created dark matter six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pitwegsaf, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Pitwegsaf, he will boil you in a big pot.

Pitwegsaf's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Pitwegsaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never run near tortoises.

2. You must pray to Pitwegsaf eight times a day.

3. Birds are not to be trusted.

4. Do not keep four snakes in a large pit.

5. Always wear mauve.