Ditarfgess is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, two-faced bear.

Ditarfgess created humankind seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ditarfgess, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Ditarfgess, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Ditarfgess' most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Ditarfgess' Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Do not skip in public.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Never go into mauve rooms.

5. Always make sure there are no sheep in a building before entering it.