Fomcussqueeg is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, grumpy bird.

Fomcussqueeg created bats nine million years ago.

If you believe in Fomcussqueeg, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Fomcussqueeg, he will remove you from existence.

Fomcussqueeg's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Fomcussqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at dwarf planets.

2. Do not eat peas.

3. Always help nematodes.

4. Do not kill monkeys.

5. You must love Fomcussqueeg.