Ponsatwon is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, annoying pigeon.

Ponsatwon created viruses eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Ponsatwon, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Ponsatwon, she will throw large rocks at you.

Ponsatwon's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Ponsatwon's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about archaea.

2. You must love Ponsatwon.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Never chant in holy places.

5. Learn seven new languages a year.