Sognuttlarn is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, deceitful tapir.

Sognuttlarn created dark energy four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sognuttlarn, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Sognuttlarn, it will cry a lot.

Sognuttlarn's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Sognuttlarn's Holy Commandments

1. Foxes are not to be trusted.

2. Always treat snails with great respect.

3. Never talk about doves.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Always stare at clouds.