Bessnilarn is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, boastful dingo.

Bessnilarn created viruses five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bessnilarn, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Bessnilarn, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Bessnilarn's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Bessnilarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick manatees.

2. Shrews are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.