Pogcumnan Pangfad is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, witty raven.

Pogcumnan Pangfad created humankind seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pogcumnan Pangfad, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Pogcumnan Pangfad, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Pogcumnan Pangfad's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Pogcumnan Pangfad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Pogcumnan Pangfad's name in vain.

2. Hide if three mites approach from the south.

3. Foxes are not to be trusted.

4. Do not shave your legs.

5. Never pour water over plants.