Ontbumrak is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, benevolent crocodile.

Ontbumrak created vertebrates five billion years ago.

If you believe in Ontbumrak, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Ontbumrak, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Ontbumrak's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Ontbumrak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Do not trade with those who eat lentils.

3. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Ontbumrak on top of all buildings.

4. Never think ill of sick tapirs.

5. Always treat squirrels with great respect.