Dapgovarn is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, charitable finch.

Dapgovarn created water eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Dapgovarn, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Dapgovarn, it will turn you into a worm.

Dapgovarn's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Dapgovarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your hands.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Never paint your head violet.

4. Dapgovarn loves seals, so they must be honoured.

5. Never feed aubergines to gulls while wearing tights.