Tamdanflow Negyamyarort is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, omniscient tapir.

Tamdanflow Negyamyarort created dark matter three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tamdanflow Negyamyarort, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Tamdanflow Negyamyarort, it will destroy your home galaxy.

Tamdanflow Negyamyarort's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Tamdanflow Negyamyarort's Holy Commandments

1. Always help nematodes in need.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Always make sure there are no pigs in a room before entering it.

4. Never feed lemons to squirrels while wearing shirts.

5. Never wear orange ear rings.