Bidshavjangumfatyimbop is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, weak alligator.

Bidshavjangumfatyimbop created humanity eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bidshavjangumfatyimbop, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Bidshavjangumfatyimbop, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Bidshavjangumfatyimbop's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Bidshavjangumfatyimbop's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Bidshavjangumfatyimbop.

2. Never think about dark matter near capybaras while wearing white corsets and balancing seven tin spheres on your feet.

3. Do not speak about carrots.

4. Never write about nebulae.

5. Never think about dwarf planets.