Vadsughan is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, conceited badger.

Vadsughan created a top quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vadsughan, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Vadsughan, she will refuse to believe in you.

Vadsughan's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Vadsughan's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if seven dogs approach from the north.

2. Do not drink water in purple rooms.

3. You must never eat wheat.

4. Never talk about quantum gravity near eagles while wearing violet stockings and balancing four iron spheres on your legs.

5. Never eat turnips.