Kikxucjad is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, bad-tempered owl.

Kikxucjad created water seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kikxucjad, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Kikxucjad, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Kikxucjad's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Kikxucjad's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large iron sculpture of Kikxucjad on top of all buildings.

2. Put Kikxucjad first in all things.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Never sprint in holy places.