Cemwonzed is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, competent goose.

Cemwonzed created Africa three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cemwonzed, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Cemwonzed, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Cemwonzed's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Cemwonzed's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured eagles.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Porpoises are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Cemwonzed.

5. Always wear yellow.