Xemfidnull is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, unthinking eagle.

Xemfidnull created Europe nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Xemfidnull, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Xemfidnull, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Xemfidnull's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Xemfidnull's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Always help swans.

3. Hide if seven eagles approach from the east.

4. Never write about amino acids.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.