Arpgatsaf is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, omniscient frog.

Arpgatsaf created the cosmos six million years ago.

If you believe in Arpgatsaf, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Arpgatsaf, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Arpgatsaf's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Arpgatsaf's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Arpgatsaf.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate dogs.

3. Never think about solid mechanics.

4. Retreat if nine tapirs approach from the west.

5. Arpgatsaf loves mites, so they must be respected.