Bissmatnurllen is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, thoughtless hare.

Bissmatnurllen created carbon four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bissmatnurllen, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Bissmatnurllen, it will boil you in a big pot.

Bissmatnurllen's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Bissmatnurllen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear yellow clothing.

2. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Never think about dark energy near dolphins while wearing gray hats and balancing eight copper spheres on your feet.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bissmatnurllen.

5. Always stare at clouds.