Milnarkarbif is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, irritating wyrm.

Milnarkarbif created the planet Earth four million years ago.

If you believe in Milnarkarbif, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Milnarkarbif, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Milnarkarbif's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Milnarkarbif's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick mites.

2. Never hurt badgers.

3. Never think about dwarf planets.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Do not drink alcohol.