Cunlapbotstan is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, moody raccoon.

Cunlapbotstan created the planet Jupiter four million years ago.

If you believe in Cunlapbotstan, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Cunlapbotstan, it will boil you in a big pot.

Cunlapbotstan's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Cunlapbotstan's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Never talk about geese.

3. Always make sure there are no tapirs in a room before entering it.

4. Never talk about fluid mechanics near aardvarks while wearing purple coats.

5. Always stare at clouds.