Honcamdam is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, calm squid.

Honcamdam created the planet Mars three billion years ago.

If you believe in Honcamdam, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Honcamdam, she will turn you into a tree.

Honcamdam's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Honcamdam's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

4. Do not take Honcamdam's name in vain.

5. Always take life seriously.