Yatkamwig is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, almighty duck.

Yatkamwig created a top quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yatkamwig, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Yatkamwig, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Yatkamwig's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Yatkamwig's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing in the presence of squirrels.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Never feed lots of melons to horses while wearing purple corsets.

5. Never wear shorts.