Getcedvedduss is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, unjust jellyfish.

Getcedvedduss created Asia three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Getcedvedduss, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Getcedvedduss, he will torture you forever.

Getcedvedduss' most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Getcedvedduss' Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Never wear skirts.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Always pray immersed in water.