Veenbegmin is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, self-confident mongoose.

Veenbegmin created the Small Magellanic Cloud three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Veenbegmin, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Veenbegmin, it will turn you into a mouse.

Veenbegmin's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Veenbegmin's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce in the presence of sharks.

2. Never talk about solid mechanics near badgers while wearing magenta stockings.

3. Never think ill of sick cats.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Fast once a month.