Cadfagnurl is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, narcissistic hamster.

Cadfagnurl created snails seven million years ago.

If you believe in Cadfagnurl, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Cadfagnurl, it will turn you into a worm.

Cadfagnurl's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Cadfagnurl's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Cadfagnurl.

2. Never talk about spacetime near birds while wearing yellow stockings and balancing five platinum spheres on your chest.

3. Hide from purple porpoises for they are unholy.

4. Never wear corsets.

5. Do not commit murder.