Titfaddog is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, pitiless grasshopper.

Titfaddog created a photon two billion years ago.

If you believe in Titfaddog, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Titfaddog, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Titfaddog's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Titfaddog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat aubergines.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Do not trade with those who eat melons.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Never skip in the presence of whales.