Kipcitfaglak is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, all-knowing wren.

Kipcitfaglak created Europe six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kipcitfaglak, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Kipcitfaglak, it will turn you into a snail.

Kipcitfaglak's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Kipcitfaglak's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about spacetime near dolphins while wearing pink rings and balancing eight lead spheres on your arms.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Kipcitfaglak.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Never look at stars.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate swans.