Tettirutcet is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, proud whale.

Tettirutcet created gold nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Tettirutcet, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Tettirutcet, he will be very unhappy.

Tettirutcet's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Tettirutcet's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if nine cats approach from the east.

2. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Do not drink water in violet rooms.