Mitbosspit is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, unthoughtful jellyfish.

Mitbosspit created viruses nine million years ago.

If you believe in Mitbosspit, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Mitbosspit, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Mitbosspit's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Mitbosspit's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick squirrels.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Do not keep five ducks in a large pit.

4. Hide from pink snakes for they are unholy.

5. Do not drink alcohol.