Wapbitlag is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, impressive manatee.

Wapbitlag created viruses seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wapbitlag, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Wapbitlag, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Wapbitlag's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Wapbitlag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat grapes.

2. Feed all hungry capybaras.

3. Erect a giant turquoise sculpture of Wapbitlag in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never talk about electromagnetism near aardvarks while wearing orange coats and balancing four nickel spheres on your arms.

5. Never think about quantum field theory near sharks while wearing indigo rings and balancing eight platinum spheres on your chest.