Sombifvongom Lopyattnurt is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, omnipotent squirrel.

Sombifvongom Lopyattnurt created a top quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Sombifvongom Lopyattnurt, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Sombifvongom Lopyattnurt, it will turn you into a tree.

Sombifvongom Lopyattnurt's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Sombifvongom Lopyattnurt's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry capybaras.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Learn four new languages a year.

5. Do not stand on grass.