Camlidarn is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, pitiless sheep.

Camlidarn created the world four billion years ago.

If you believe in Camlidarn, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Camlidarn, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Camlidarn's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Camlidarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Run away from white horses, for they are unholy.

3. Never wear dresses.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Always help tapirs in need.