Pitbifbonk is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, capable guinea pig.

Pitbifbonk created snails six billion years ago.

If you believe in Pitbifbonk, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Pitbifbonk, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Pitbifbonk's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Pitbifbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about fluid mechanics.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Always help sick rats.

4. Never think ill of sick eagles.

5. Do not keep three ants in a large pit.