Mittafbit is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, impressive hamster.

Mittafbit created the planet Jupiter two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Mittafbit, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Mittafbit, he will curse you with boils.

Mittafbit's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Mittafbit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Do not sprint in public.

4. Never wear fawn kilts.

5. Never think ill of sick cats.