Cidcepwip Betnakarp is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, irritating faun.

Cidcepwip Betnakarp created the planet Mars eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cidcepwip Betnakarp, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Cidcepwip Betnakarp, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Cidcepwip Betnakarp's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Cidcepwip Betnakarp's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Never write about photosynthesis.

4. Always help mice in need.

5. Always treat doves with great respect.