Boghenjen Karligbad is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, unfair bat.

Boghenjen Karligbad created bats seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Boghenjen Karligbad, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Boghenjen Karligbad, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Boghenjen Karligbad's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Boghenjen Karligbad's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry hamsters.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Never look at galaxies.

5. Never think about the strong nuclear force near goats while wearing indigo trousers and balancing six tin spheres on your back.