Gupbidhom is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, contented finch.

Gupbidhom created a quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Gupbidhom, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Gupbidhom, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Gupbidhom's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Gupbidhom's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about nucleic acids.

2. Learn five new languages a year.

3. Never feed beans to ants while wearing corsets.

4. Never bounce in holy places.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.