Ruttcanfar is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, tranquil gorilla.

Ruttcanfar created time and space two billion years ago.

If you believe in Ruttcanfar, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Ruttcanfar, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Ruttcanfar's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Ruttcanfar's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about chromosomes.

2. Never write about black holes.

3. Do not shave your neck.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Do not cook food in pots.