Lipstigtun Tigvadtuntarbonk Baffarciss is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, blissful goose.

Lipstigtun Tigvadtuntarbonk Baffarciss created humanity nine million years ago.

If you believe in Lipstigtun Tigvadtuntarbonk Baffarciss, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Lipstigtun Tigvadtuntarbonk Baffarciss, she will be very sad.

Lipstigtun Tigvadtuntarbonk Baffarciss' most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Lipstigtun Tigvadtuntarbonk Baffarciss' Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the south.

2. Feed all hungry dogs.

3. Do not hurt pigs.

4. Never talk about asteroids.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Lipstigtun Tigvadtuntarbonk Baffarciss.