Pogbassbarn is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, selfish hamster.

Pogbassbarn created the planet Earth seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pogbassbarn, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Pogbassbarn, she will turn you into a mole.

Pogbassbarn's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Pogbassbarn's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from yellow bats for they are unholy.

2. Put Pogbassbarn first in all things.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Draw representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Never feed peas to mice while wearing red jumpers.