Xuckmiftig is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, prudent dingo.

Xuckmiftig created a Higgs boson five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Xuckmiftig, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Xuckmiftig, it will attempt to scare you with hail.

Xuckmiftig's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Xuckmiftig's Holy Commandments

1. Learn nine new languages a year.

2. Never hurt porpoises.

3. Run away if seven mice approach from the north.

4. Always look after injured rats.

5. You must never eat peas.