Dadfadvan is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, grumpy weasel.

Dadfadvan created viruses eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Dadfadvan, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Dadfadvan, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Dadfadvan's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Dadfadvan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. You must love Dadfadvan.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Never write about planets.

5. Feed all hungry gulls.